Sunday, February 5, 2012

Super Bowl Spa Day

So I was feeling a little bummed out today because it's the Super Bowl.  And all of my friends in WV are going to Super Bowl parties.  It's not that I understand or enjoy football, but I do enjoy friends, alcoholic beverages, and food.  Michael is working until 7 and Morgan and I have been hanging out watching Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and trying on princess dresses (my house has a layer of glitter right now). 

During pregnancy my skin does some crazy stuff.  It gets dry and itchy and oily and breaks out and turns red and basically is just angry all the time.  So today I decided to treat myself to a little 'home spa.'  I love home remedies.  One of my dreams (along with playing banjo in a bluegrass band and working for NASA in the 1960s) is to open a cutesy little store where I sell my crochet goodies and home remedies like scrubs and lotions.  I especially love scrubs.  I make my own using sea salt, honey, olive oil, and essential oils.

Today I googled 'homemade oatmeal face masks' and browsed at the information.  I dug out my 'ye olde medicine bowle from days of yore' which I also mix up my scrubs in (and sometimes eat popcorn out of) and measured out a bit of oatmeal and squirted a bunch of Kroger brand honey into.  I went to the bathroom and used my hands to mix.


Gloopy honey oatmeal stuck all over my hands and would not come off.  I added a little water and it helped.  I don't know why I didn't think of olive oil, it would have helped the mixture stick so much better than water.  But ya know, baby brain takes over. 

I tried to apply the mixture to my face.  Disaster.  3/4 of whatever I smeared on fell off into the floor.  And then I stepped in it.  And then Morgan came to investigate why mommy was shrieking and started flipping out because mommy's face was falling off into the floor.  With a towel held under my face to catch droppings, I ran to the kitchen and threw some cookies at Morgan and hit 'replay' for Clody with a Chance of Meatballs.  She immediately zoned out and I was able to continue my amazing spa disaster. 

I decided the best thing to do would be to jump in the shower and just use the mixture as a scrub.  I rubbed oatmeal/honey all over my skin and then washed it off...and the bottom of the tub looked like vomit.  Milky water with flakes of half dissolved oatmeal.  I started dry heaving with flashback of Morgan vomiting curdled formula and baby oatmeal into my hair.  I quickly rinsed it all off and finished the shower.

But now I have to clean out the bathtub.  We have one of those covers that stops chunky stuff from going down the drain.  Chunky stuff like homemade oatmeal spa treatments. 

And I have dried oatmeal in my hair.  And my armpit.

Happy Super Bowl day everybody!! 

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