Tuesday, February 21, 2012


So I've been fighting this crud for 2 weeks exactly.  Morgan had an ear infection, Michael had a cold, and I ended up with both.  Since I'm pregnant (and really really don't like to take myself to the doctor unless I have Michael to drive me because I drive like a 109 year old when I'm pregnant, all spaced out and not trusting my instincts) and I don't really want to take any medications unless I HAVE to...I was trying to 'wait it out...' which has been miserable.  Normally I pump myself full of any medication I can get my hands on, including 'home remedies' like honey, tea, whiskey, diesel fuel, whatever it takes.  I had sinus pressure trying to pop my eyes out, ear pain (and hearing loss...or at least that's what I claim because Michael swears he's told me certain things that I don't remember), nasal faucet, aches, pains, mild fever.  After about 4 days I actually DID try to go to EZ Care (my favorite place to go for cough and cold) but it was in the middle of a blizzard and they closed early.  We saw a lot of wrecks that afternoon.  Then it was bathroomapocolypse for 4 days, then a 230 mile trip to my parents to celebrate Morgan's birthday, then a 230 mile trip home where I had to unload and unpack and find a new home for Morgan's new toys, plus clean the new bathroom so we could use it, plus clean up after the cat's had a huge party while we were gone (piles of hair all over the carpet, nails that had been pulled out, and random piles of kitty vomit.  One heck of a party).

Today I finally realized it's been 2 weeks, my ear pain is getting more severe, I can't ignore it any more.  When I was in 3rd grade I had a tube in my left ear from so many ear infections.  When I was in 6th grade I had surgery to patch the hole that never healed.  Whenever I go to the doctor they are always like 'whoa you've got some serious scar tissue on your ear drum....HEY HARRIET, come in here and look in her ear!!!' (yes they proceed to bring everybody in the office plus the bum that lives in the dumpster in to the exam room to check out my funky ear scars).  My left ear has been trying to kill me my entire life. 

So today I loaded myself and the kid into the car and went to EZ Care.  Morgan LOVES going to the doctor.  She's beyond remembering how every single time we entered her pediatrician's office she would scream bloody murder because she knew she wouldn't be leaving without getting stabbed in the leg with a needle.  Now she thinks going to the doctor is fascinating.  She's so cooperative it's almost scary.  She lets them look in her ears, nose, throat; lets them listen to her breathe.  I have video from today in the waiting room where she's pulling my hand saying 'c'mon mommy, let's go see the doctor.' 


So the doctor looked in my ear ('wow you've got a lot of scar tissue...') and wrote me a prescription.  And then I couldn't get Morgan to leave.  She stomped her feet.  She ran from me.  She didn't want to leave until the doctor checked her out.  I was able to get her cooperate by lying with 'let's go home and paint!' (and that little booger has an awesome memory; now we are home and she's begging me to paint).  Then I had to go to Kroger to get my prescription filled ('oh, you're going to WAIT on this instead of come back later?') and pick up some groceries.  Morgan was still really irritated over the whole not getting checked by the doctor thing, so she bit my finger.  HARD.  And then she cried because she realized she hurt me (and possibly because I slapped her on the top of the head to make her release my finger before her toddler shark-like teeth sliced through the bone).  And then while I was trying to decide on a salad dressing she grabbed a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and gnawed her way into the chips.  Sigh.  So I had to add a bag of chips to my hummus, California rolls (LOVE Krogers that have sushi chefs!), rotisserie chicken (ick, that thing still has LEGS attached), salad, strawberries, and tomatoes.  And then I tried to shoplift the chips because the moronic women in front of me at checkout STILL USES CHECKS at the register.  That's SOOO 1995 lady!  Haven't you ever heard of a check/debit card?  (or Visa?)  Morgan chomped on her chips and I patiently waited for about 5 minutes (and impatiently for about 10 more) while she wrote ANOTHER check thinking it would go through the machine, and then they had to call everybody including the CEO of Kroger to get that check approved.  So after all of that I almost forgot to pay for the darn Doritos.  I realized as I was pushing away from the register that my child was shoplifting chips with my help.  Awkward....

So now I'm going to eat my California rolls and take my antibiotic and claim temporary hearing loss every time I hear Morgan say 'paint?'

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