Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hell on Ice

It's been a pretty busy week.  As I stare at these birds we call 'black chickens' standing in the rain in our backyard, I realize I needed to update the world on my fascinating life.

A week ago we drove to Pittsburgh (about an hour from our house, less if there's no traffic) to take Morgan to see Disney on Ice.  I noticed on Facebook that EVERYBODY is taking their kids to Disney on Ice back home (it went to Charleston WV) so I frantically checked to see if they were coming to Pittsburgh and sure enough, they were coming the week of Morgan's birthday!  Perfect!

So after working a 16 hour shift overnight, poor Michael dragged me and Morgan out of bed when he got home at 7:30 (we stay up late and sleep in late around here...) so we would have plenty of time to get there.  The big decision that morning...what princess dress to wear (not me...or Michael...but for Morgan).  She has Rapunzel, Belle, Snow White, Tiana dresses from the Disney Store, and Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty from Big Lots.  She went with Rapunzel because she has the matching shoes and necklaces. 

Traffic was a pain going into the city, and some ambulance kicked up something solid that chipped our windshield, putting a damper on the fun.

And then we took a wrong turn.  Yes we have a GPS, but Pittsburgh has one of the craziest road systems.  We were supposed to turn right, but there were 2 roads next to each other and we happened to get on the one that is a freeway and the closest exit was a mile away, where we had to listen to 'recalculating' repeatedly and find an exit to turn around on.  At this point Michael is started to fume about how we won't get to our seats in time, I'm trying not to cry about the windshield because I know it's not in our policy for our insurance to fix it so it will probably just stay chipped and make the Land Rover as ugly as our Mazda that has had a cracked windshield for 3 years, and Morgan is pointing out churches and yelling 'castle!'

We finally get back to where we need to be, only to run into 'event traffic.'  A huge line of cars waiting to turn into parking lots and garages and disgruntled parents running across the road dragging children ages 2-7 leaving a trail of princess dress glitter.

Then it's our turn to be the disgruntled parents running through the parking lot.  I'm loaded down with diaper bag and purse and 5 month pregnant belly; Michael is carrying our 36 pound 3 year old, trying to keep her diaper covered with her princess dress, hissing at me 'you should have put tights on her to cover her butt!  It's cold out here today!' 

Yeah it was really cold.  And tights would have been a great idea.  Especially since we were going to be watching ICE SKATING.  But I put socks on Morgan instead of tights, and I wore a short sleeve dress with leggings and flats.  Michael didn't even wear a coat. 

We followed the herd of people to an entrance...only to find out it's the WRONG ENTRANCE because we needed to pick up our tickets.


Michael is about to fall over from running with Morgan for a mile so I end up carrying the kid, my purse, the diaper bag.  Waddling down the sidewalk not even caring about the stares I get from random people over my grunting and cursing (okay so maybe cursing when there are that many toddlers around is a little rude...)

We found our entrance, got our tickets, rode escalators up several stories of the building, dodged school groups of screaming children, and found our seats.  I used to drive to Pittsburgh for hockey games and big concerts (like Korn...yes, I've seen Korn live) but this was the first time I'd been in the new arena.  I was a little sad when we drove past the old one being torn down...but I totally forgot all about it when I was in the new one.  It's amazing!  But we had to go to the very top and then walk down to our seats which made me very dizzy and brought back memories of trying to walk back to my seat after 8 beers at a NASCAR race.  The levels are so steep!  But it means every seat is a good one.  Michael got tickets in the balcony, in the very front, they were much cheaper than the lower level, and Morgan could stand the entire time and not bother anybody but us. 

The entire place buzzed with noise.  The row behind us was filled with kids from a school group that kicked the back of our seats for 2 hours. 

Michael looked at me with glazed over 'just worked 16 hours at a power plant' eyes and said 'this is my hell.'  And then 'that's totally going to be my Facebook status.'

Michael never posts on Facebook.  So when he does, it's pretty epic.

The show finally started and Morgan shook all over from excitement.  The first half was pretty entertaining, even for me.  My one complaint is that they crammed all of the princesses into a short time frame (but I hear they have a separate show for Princesses on Ice...)  Morgan cried at Intermission because she thought it was over, but then the 2nd half was somewhat boring and she was ready to go when it was over.

Highlights of the show:

giving the boy behind me the 'stink-eye' for kicking my chair.  it worked.  he stopped.

changing Morgan's Pullup during a dark scene.  nobody even noticed and Morgan didn't even blink about that fact that for a few seconds she was naked under her dress.

Michael saying 'ya know what?  Snow White is actually pretty homely.'
Me:  'why do you say that?'
Michael:  'well, she's got that really short really dark hair.  and her dress is ugly.'
Me:  (laughing....until I realize my hair is short...and dark)

I gave Michael the stink-eye.

He drank his 5 hour energy shot and didn't notice.

We worried that Morgan would have a meltdown after the show but she was ready to go.  2 hours was enough.  The meltdown didn't happen until she saw the school buses lined up out front and wanted to go to school.  She's such a weird kid.  She begs to go to the doctor (even the 'teeth doctor') and begs to go to school. 

Hanging out at home with me is so boring you'll beg to go to the doctor or school.

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