Friday, March 9, 2012


You know how people joke about how Twinkies and roaches could survive the Apocalypse?  I disagree.


They are tasty.  Healthy.  I eat them a lot.  So does Morgan.

But they are evil.

They creep down into the deepest cracks of your couch and have babies.  They find their way into the creases of your kids' carseats. 

You sit down to eat a bowl....and sure enough, one somehow manages to escape.  No idea how, but there it is, in the floor, staring back at you with its hollow eye.

You put a bowl out for your child to snack on....and it lasts for a week.  It's like the story of Jesus with the fish...the Cheerios just keep multiplying no matter how many are eaten!!  And your kid just keeps munching on them, no matter how many days that bowl has been out (okay maybe I'm tattling a bit about my parenting skills...leaving the same snack out for days...)

Have you ever tried to vacuum one?!!! 

Your vacuum will just glide right over it and the Cheerio will stay in place, resistant to the sucking power of your yard sale vacuum sweeper.  You try again.  And again.  And again.  You end up cursing the Cheerio, jumping up and down with a crazed look in your eye, making a fool of yourself in front of the cats (but don't worry, just bread head them and the humiliation will be even...I'll post pictures and instructions in the next blog).

You finally end up throwing the vacuum down on its side, picking up the Cheerio, and force feeding it into the suction.


And as soon as you turn the vacuum upright and continue sweeping, that Cheerio falls back down onto the floor making you question your sanity and the laws of gravity and nature.  You look around to see if some alien is hiding and taking notes of your progress, then pick up the Cheerio by hand and throw it in the trash can.

Then you move the couch cushions to see what your toddler has been squirreling away and under the Little People, smashed crackers, and smeared boogers....there are Cheerio families just hanging out in the deep cracks of your couch.  They are too deep for your sweeper hose to reach.  Of course.

My suggestion....yell for your toddler or your dog to help.  Morgan is great at digging out Cheerios and most of them make it to the trash can instead of her mouth.

And smashed Cheerios....  *eye twitch*

The other evening Michael and I were enjoying way too much peace and quiet.  We were watching something on TV while I worked on a crochet project and after a while I realized we hadn't been interrupted by the child.  Usually she runs down the hallway and Michael sings 'here she comes to wreck the day!' at least 10 times during any show we are trying to watch, but she had been in her room for at least half hour keeping to herself.

I immediately knew she was doing something bad.

Sure enough, I found Morgan watching Dora on her TV....and a huge mound of crushed chocolate Cheerios ground into her white rug.


I probably slightly overreacted by screaming that I was going to throw all of her toys out into the yard and Morgan cried the entire time I cleaned.  I think it took about 20 minutes to vacuum, scrape, and shovel all those crumbs out of her fluffy white rug.

20 minutes of my life gone.  Over Cheerios.

Someday we will be able to afford a new vacuum, not that ours isn't great, it works just fine.  But I want one with Cheerio sucking powers.  I'll be looking for those exact words on the box.

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