potty pants

I'm typing this with one eye open because the other one is sleeping.  I'm so exhausted.  I'm still fighting a terrible cold, and all of this sneezing, coughing, and nose blowing is exhausting...not to mention the 'sprint to the bathroom for a wad of toilet paper before your nose leaks all over your floor but not too fast because you're pregnant and sudden movement might make you pee your pants.'

Plus last night around 4:30 (okay, technically I suppose that's this morning...) while rotating from my right side to my left side and waiting for the right side of my nose to empty into the left side, I heard Morgan growling in bed.  What the heck?  I never heard another noise so I assumed she was sleep growling, and by 5 I was falling back asleep only to suddenly wake up to Michael saying 'what are you doing baby?' and the next thing I know I open my eyes to an almost-3-year-old standing beside the bed with 2 blankets and a stuffed platypus.  Michael and I both go up and followed her to the living room where she made herself a little nest on the couch and then patted the spot next to her for me to join her. 

Awesome.

I told Michael to go back to bed.  He needed to rest up for his upcoming 4 nights of work.  I tried to snuggle next to Morgan on the couch and eventually she went back to sleep.  I didn't.  I was somewhere in between daydreaming and snoring with my eyes open.  But I never actually went to sleep.  Around 6:20 I tried to sneak Morgan back to her bed but she instantly woke up, grabbed her blankets, and went back to the couch.  Not that I blame her; her crib mattress is hard.  It might be time for a 'big bed.' 

But anyways, last night while Michael and I were watching a Face Off marathon (that show is so cool!) I was catching up on The Bloggess and her latest post was about a conversation between her and her husband it was hilarious.  I read it out loud to Michael.  It was something about inventing robot tigers.  Michael was like 'we have conversations like that, why don't you blog them?' and I agreed, but honestly I can't remember half of what we talk about, just snippets of funny stuff like Michael yelling 'stop throwing your platypus, you keep hitting the lamp!' or Michael flopping down on the couch saying 'you know our cat isn't just a regular cat, he's a kitty bitch.'

I do have a lovely life experience from the other evening to share.  I posted about it on Facebook and had about 30+ comments from friends offering advice, sympathy, and laughter.

The whole potty training experience with Morgan has been frustrating.  She has the speech delay, and trying to potty train a kid that can't communicate very well is like trying to house break a Dachshund.  Her language skills get better every single day.  With potty training we've tried letting her run around naked, reminding her to pee in the potty (which is in the kitchen...it's an awesome addition to the decor).  She has surprised me a couple of times by going to her potty without me reminding her.  But honestly, I think it's sort of gross to have a naked toddler running around my house, climbing all over the couch and sitting on my lap.  So I've been trying 'potty pants' -- that's what we call underwear.  I hate calling them 'panties' on a toddler.  And underwear is hard for her to say, so they are 'potty pants' - which stands for 'panties you wear when you use the potty, not to be mistaken for panties you potty in.'  She LOVES potty pants.  She begs to wear them and she's quite picky; she might be in the mood to wear Belle...or Hello Kitty...or Tinkerbell...it just depends on whom she feels like pottying at that time.  I try to take her to the potty every hour...but she's starting to fight me.  She runs and screams and ends up peeing in her potty pants (and on a peice of furniture or on the carpet...).  I am trying not to make a huge issue out of the potty since she's fighting it, but she begs to wear potty pants.  We have the same conversation over and over:

Me:  Morgan, you can wear potty pants if you pee in the potty.  Okay?

Morgan:  Octonauts!!

Me:  No Octonauts until you listen to mommy.  Do you want a diaper?

Morgan:  No diapy!

Me:  Okay, then listen to me; you can wear potty pants if you pee in the potty.  Okay?

Morgan:  Yes!!  ....Octonauts!

*sigh*

Two evenings ago, Morgan was sitting on Michael's lap with a pile of Baby Animal magazines (her birthday gift from my aunt, Morgan loves them!) and all of a sudden Michael jumped up yelling.  I ran in the room to see what happened and knew it was bad...Michael's eyes had that lightning bolt look he gets when he's angry.  He was holding a crying kid out in front of him and yelling 'BAD MORGAN!' and I still didn't understand what happened until I realized his whole right side was soaked.  I tried not to snicker.  I mean come on, he got PEED ON...it's funny!  ...until I realized the couch got peed on as well.  Then I was angry.  Michael hissed and grumbled while he changed his clothes and I cleaned up the kid and busted out the cleaner for the couch.  Michael came stomping back in saying 'no more potty pants until she pees in the potty!' and once again I'm trying not to laugh because a grown man yelling the words 'potty pants' in anger is hilarious....to me anyways.  So then I posted on Facebook about how all of my mommy friends that suggested I just give up the diapers cold turkey and go for underwear could please come help me clean my urine stained furniture and calm my pee drenched husband I would forgive them for that awesome parenting tip.

So anyways, today Morgan found a clean pair of potty pants in the laundry.  I heard Michael saying 'go ask mommy' and she came running in with a pair of Sleeping Beauty potty pants saying 'pweeease mommy?  I lub potty pants!' so I gave in.  The cuteness is just too much for me to fight.  And today we have a new approach...chocolate chips.  She loves them.  So every time she pees in the potty she gets chocolate chips.  Now the only problem is she's trying to pee on the potty as much as possible and she'll be on a chocolate high until 3am.    *high five* to self for awesome parenting skills. 

I appreciate all of the tips and advice from my mommy friends that have 'been there, done that' with the potty training but I think the best advice is 'she will go when she's ready.'  And honestly, if she's still in diapers when she's 16 I won't have to worry about any boys following her around, so there's a bright side to the situation.