go the *BLEEP* to SLEEP!

Morgan, my almost-3-year-old, has decided that she's totally over this whole sleeping all night thing.  Naps?  Forget it.  She goes 80mph from the time she gets up until she crashes at night...which means she should sleep pretty hard, right?  Nope.  Not lately.  I rarely stay up 'late' - I'm usually in bed about an hour after Morgan is dumped into her bed.  Lately I will sleep about 2-3 hours and then I hear her little voice and I just want to put my face in my pillow and scream.  Instead, I shake my pregnancy induced carpal tunnel hands back awake (it's usually good to have feeling in your hands when you're dealing with babies) and go to her room where I try the whole soothing routine of patting her on the back saying 'it's okay, go back to sleep.'  But she starts to sigh angrily and kick at her blankets like they are irritating her.  I know she wants to come to our bed, but I can't give in too easily.  I was in her room for half an hour until I accepted failure and said 'come on stinky...' Morgan said 'yippee!' and when I picked her up she gave me an enormous hug and said 'mooommmyyyy' in a tone that says 'I love you so so so much for letting me boss you around.'  So I make her little nest in our bed, texted Michael who was working yet another night shift to warn him that his side of the bed was being invaded once again, and tried to settle back down to sleep when Morgan quietly says 'sippy?'

AUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!

Yet another thing I'm trying to break her off.  It's bad enough she's waking up, but she won't go back to sleep without a sippy cup of milk.  I know she's only going to be a baby for a little while.  What's that country song by Darius Rucker, 'It Won't Be Like This For Long?'  Yeah, I've listened to the lyrics, and I know it's true.  I'll blink and she's be a teenager trying to sneak out her window (totally different reason for me not to sleep)

But I told her no sippy.  She stuck out that bottom lip (as she's been doing since she was a day old) and started to whimper.  I almost caved in, but I figured she would eventually fall asleep.

I was so wrong.

For an hour she sighed.  She kicked.  She rotated around the bed.  At 4:30am after being up for an hour, I couldn't take it anymore.  I screamed at her (thank goodness don't live in our apartment anymore--it probably would have even scared the old grouchy people that lived next to us awake) and it made her cry.  So then I felt really guilty.  I went to the kitchen and poured some sippy.  She drank part of it and then insisted on snuggling with it.  She does that sometimes, it's really annoying.  I'm always stressed out that milk is going to leak out and I'll wake up covered in roaches that are attracted to the smell of milk in my bed.  But trying to take it from her is like trying to take a toy from a Chihuahua.  I have to wait for her to start falling asleep and then sneak it out of her arms.  Seriously, can't she just have a teddy bear addiction instead?

Finally sometime around 5 we both went to sleep.  I sent more texts to my husband; some not so nice ones like 'I'm tired of being here alone with her every single night!' like he can help having to work night shifts and like he enjoys climbing in bed after the sun comes up.  But that's just how I am...I'm mouthy and I have to vent to somebody before I explode.  My entire family is like that, especially the women.  I've been told that the women in my family have a bite.  One time my dad told my mom that he wished she had a rattle on her tail so he would know when she was going to strike.  I laughed for 2 years after he said that.

But don't feel too sorry for me; we slept in until 10 today.  At least I didn't have to get up at 6 to go to work.  I couldn't imagine dealing with 200 teenagers after a night like last night.  I would be as friendly as a honey badger.  So yes I am very blessed that I don't have a paying job; just this full time job of being a mommy with a 37 inch tall boss that is more demanding than anybody I've ever worked for.

During the 1 & 1/2 hour of sleepless time with Morgan last night, I kept thinking about the book 'Go the F*ck to Sleep.'  If you haven't heard of it, go to YouTube and search for it, and make sure you click the link where Samuel L Jackson reads it aloud.  Yes the language is offensive, but that makes it even more funny (to me anyways).

I woke up this morning hoping that Michael felt sorry enough for me to bring home McDonald's biscuits and gravy...nope.  Had to eat my oatmeal with almonds, blueberries, honey, cinnamon, and almond milk healthy breakfast and now I'm sick.  Go figure.